Event: The Defamation Experience

Another Event on Campus I attended thi Semester was the Defamation Experience. This event was on a Monday night in the Student Union Ballroom.  This is a program which is put on at schools throughout the country which touches on the topics of race, class, gender, religion, and the law. The event start out with a play of a courtroom case. The case follows a black woman who is suing a white man for defamation. When she went to his home for an interview for a project for her company, he then accused her of stealing hi watch to her other main business partner, who then in turn decided to use a different company, and ultimately her business failed. Each person involved in the case gives their side of the story along with the Lawyers as would follow a normal court case. Then at the end, rather than having the judge or a acting jury make the decision on whether or not the case was defamation, the audience becomes the jury and makes the decision.
The case itself was interesting in that it utilized it’s actors and their identities in ways that really made you think. For example, the lawyer defending the white man who was being sued was also a woman of color. This brought in another level of the aspects of societal oppression which exist and how they are also internalized. They provided compelling arguments for both sides of the story that really made the audience think about how they would vote, even if they came in with a predetermined idea on who they would vote for.
The discussion jury aspect made it different than any other play or play-like event that I had attended in that it brought the audience into the situation. I found it really interesting to hear each person's take on the story and how they felt throughout the performance. There was a lot of talk about identity and the process of relating to the characters and how that impacted a person’s vote. Multiple people explained that while the different arguments made, made them think, they still felt a connection to specific characters who they related to and ultimately felt that they would still vote in favor of the person they related to.
I think this event therefore also ties back into our anchor of identity and its importance. Throughout this event, not only were the ways in which identities experience power and exploitation in our society expressed, it also showed the connection people have with their identities and how they ultimately can make you relate to another person.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODmrhFggVh0

Event: Dirty Computer Screening by Janelle Monae

One on campus event I went to this semester was a screening of Janelle Monae’s Dirty Computer in Gaige 100. Dirty Computer is a visual album or an “Emotion Picture”. While I had watched it before, on my own laptop, watching it projected onto the big screen in Gage 100 was a completely different experience. The film focuses on themes of race, sexuality, gender, and an overall criticism of American Society.  The film follows the character of Jane 57821 as she is captured by the government and her memories are being wiped away since she is a “dirty computer”. As this is happening her memories play and you see her partying with her friends, being stopped by cops, her relationship, and ultimately her arrest, all with a song critiquing the overall issues which are occuring playing. Following the screening, there was a discussion led by Pegah.
 The first aspect discussed was how there are so many layers and details in the film relating to each of the themes, both through the lyrics and the visuals that there is always something new to notice. Also, there was a lot of discussion on the identity aspects discussed throughout the film. Janelle monae herself is a queer woman of color, and each of those identity aspects are touched upon through her character. In addition to this, other key identities can be seen throughout the other characters and themes in the film. This is the aspect of the film and event which most ties to our class, through the anchor of Identity. Dirty Computer is rooted in the different identities in our society, and how any that go against the dominant ideologies are seen as lower, wrong, or dirty.
The discussion then went on to discuss the rise of music video films to make comments on society, such as Beyonce’s Lemonade and Childish Gambino’s This Is America, in addition to Dirty Computer.  There was also then a discussion on how the commentary in each of those videos is different and the vibe and story they are telling. While both This is America and Dirty Computer are critiquing our society, in This is America the dancing and partying aspects are portrayed as a distraction from the issues in our society. Contrarily to this, Dirty Computer utilizes these aspects to portray the identities and issues that are arising, and to provide a sense of hope.

Jenkins and Play

I decided to utilize the Play we did in class for this assignment.

The Six P’s:
Permission: In order to play you must give yourself permission to do so.

I think this is one of the P’s that I think is very key to play when you are no longer a kid. While there is still the deciding factor and permission aspect of play as a kid, when it is not what you are doing on a regular basis, there is and was a lot more of a permission process. I think this was most prevalent when we engaged in play in class following this reading. The experience was different than playing with a kid, and I think that us all having to really give ourselves permission to do created a playful interaction that is different than any other typical interaction we’d had as a group. Even though we are a class where we play games and do purposeful play activities on the regular, giving ourselves the permission to play and not thinking about it as an assignment really changed the way the activity worked.

Process: The process of play is what makes it fun and what makes it play, and that you need to be aware of the process that is happening.

Passion:  Passion brings in learning and an expansion of knowledge when playing.

Productivity: Play allows for creativity and the transformation of your surroundings.

While we were playing in the hallway, I feel as though there was a lot of productivity and expansion of knowledge. For myself, I utilized the materials and created a slingshot, and also worked to balance a castle made of cards. As the play went on I took the rubber band which had been holding the box together and utilized it to create a new toy itself. This represents Jenkins explanation of how play allows for the transformation of items in one's surroundings.I  I feel as this is one of my favorite aspects of play, both as a participant in it and as an observer.

Participation: Play is social and requires participation. As a youth Worker it is key to observe the participation in Play.

Throughout our play in the hall, while we ultimately split up into multiple groups, everyone was participating in the play and with others at all times. 

Pleasure: Pleasure is key to play. As a Youth worker, aim to bring in play that is open ended and provides pleasure for everyone.

Student Centered Learning Conference

For the Student Centered Learning conference I attended Session A for the first round, which was “Exploring Mastery collaborative, a Competency/Mastery-Based Education Program, Using a Culturally Responsive Research Design”. This session explained a research project being done by NYU in school’s throughout the city which uses a mastery based program and culturally responsive curriculum to work with students in their schools. While the session was very informative of the program, I felt as though the majority of it was them explaining what they did, but did not provide any information really on how the practices could be implemented in other spaces. This session was however where I saw the most support for purposeful play in the conference. They had us do a photovoice activity at the end of experiences we felt capture mastery based education. While the activity was rushed, it still held a lot of value and is a very unique activity.While photovoice is typically a research method, it was utilized as a creative activity similarly to a purposeful play activity.


My second session was, “Student-Centered Learning is Political! The Role of Youth Activism, Voice, and civic Readiness in Learner-Centered Education”. This session was set up more as an open conversation for everyone in the space to speak about their experience and opinions of Youth Activism and Youth Voice. Two of the student researchers had been in this session, and it was the point during the conference when I felt the ideas of leading with were most prominently held. The facilitators of the session took a seat in the circle and allowed the conversation to flow, and the researchers were able to share both their experiences in  their schools, and aspects of their research project. This varied from the end of the conference where there were many issues with the way they introduced the student researchers, spoke over them, and re-said exactly what they had previously said. While that had been their attempt at promoting students at the center, it failed to represent leading with and failed to promote a space where the student researchers were equal to their other researchers.

Ideology Quiz

This is the third time I have taken the ideology quiz, and I have scored almost exactly the same each time I have taken it, tying for Positive and Critical. The past few times I have taken the quiz, whenever I have tied I was told to then choose the one I feel I align with most. I tended to then choose critical. I feel as though based on the work we have done in YDev over the years, my agreements tend to align most with a Critical Ideology. I have tended to agree passionately about interacting with youth in order to both share power with and empower youth and create change in their communities. However I feel as though the reason that I tend to tie with Positive is that Critical youth development in description comes off as always doing something to take action and make change. While I agree with this, I also feel as though sometimes youth spaces should just be places for youth to exist as themselves. I think that everyone needs a space where they can just do something for fun, regardless of age. With the Positive Ideology being more focused on fostering strengths and positive growth, there is more of an opportunity for spaces rooted in a Positive ideology to be more of an existing as oneself for oneself space than would typically come across in a Critical Space. So ultimately, I feel as though I have a stronger lean towards the critical Ideology, but I still feel aligned in ways to Positive as well. I am also curious how I would score if the distinction between a Civic and Social Justice youth development ideology was an aspect of this quiz as well, and which aspects of each I would closer align to.

An Injustice

At the end of my sophomore year at RIC Jess and I were looking to get an apartment. We both had to take summer classes that summer, and Jess lived too far away, and I had a toxic home environment that I wasn’t looking to or really able to go back to. In the process of looking for an apartment, we experienced injustice in a few ways. To start, we both had non-existent credit, as we were 18 turning 19 and as with most people from working class homes, had both grown up being told to avoid getting a credit card for as long as possible. As a result we each needed a co-signer in order to sign a lease. This in itself is an injustice against young people in our society, as you need to have credit in order to get anything, but also need credit to get credit.
But ultimately, this lead to the bigger issue in the situation, which was obtaining cosigners for our lease. Thankfully for me, my mother had just before this gotten her credit high enough to get a mortgage, and while her credit was still low, agreed to co-sign for me. Jess on the other hand had a harder time. Her parents’ credit was good, but they refused to co-sign a lease for us because they did not want to support us living together in a one bedroom apartment. We had been together for a year and half, which may have seemed too early to move in together, but the timing was not the issue, but rather that we are a queer couple. They told Jess that they would co-sign the lease if we got a two bedroom apartment instead of a one-bedroom, so that they wouldn’t have to think about what was going on behind closed doors. At the same time, they had just a couple of months prior allowed her brother and his girlfriend to live together in the same room in their own home. We financially couldn’t afford a two-bedroom apartment, and it also would not make sense for us to struggle financially for an extra room which would go unused. We asked my older sister and she was in the process of buying a house and couldn’t also cosign as her credit had been checked multiple times in the past few months, and she had a lot on her plate financially.
At this point we began to worry, we’d both already missed the deadline to live on campus the next year and had already registered for summer courses which we couldn’t take during the year. We also both had jobs lined up in Providence and Jess had turned away her previous summer job in her hometown. While neither of our parents would have turned us away had we needed to move in at home individually, our lives wouldn’t work that way. We were running out of time and options, our extended families were either also not comfortable with our relationship, or we were not close enough with them to ask them to cosign. We were terrified we weren’t going to have a place to go, and end up among the high rate of homeless LGBTQ people. Thankfully when we had no other option, my sister secretly cosigned for us and the realtor company agreed to use a previous credit report and not run her credit score again. While it ultimately worked out for us in the end, it was a very close call and could have easily gone very wrong. Also, it brought about new sides of family members and created quite a bit of stress and heavy emotions.
We’ve both prepared ourselves now and worked to create credit for ourselves so that the next time we go to sign a lease we will be able to do so on our own, and won’t have to bring the topic back up. But also it’s more of an issue with the lack of support for our relationship. At the time while we both knew our families had issues with us being gay, they had not said anything other than small comments to express that. So while we may not need our families to cosign a lease again soon, it is worrisome of where else we may not be supported by either side of our families in the future, whether it’s getting married, moving somewhere new, starting a family, etc. I would like to think I would be more emotionally ready for it if it were to happen again, as it would not be as surprising and would not cause as much emotional distress. But I’m not sure if that’s true. Jess and I’s relationship has only grown over time, and so as time goes on, the idea of the lack of acceptance from either of our families in many ways just gets harder.

The Spinny Chair revised

I first stole the spinny chair in the corner of Mrs. McCann’s history class about a week into my freshman year of high school. It drove her crazy, and I proceeded to take it every class after, and when the year was up, I took it every time I stopped by, which was often. I’d walk in run and slide across the room on the chair while borderline yelling “MRS. MCCANNNNNNNNN”. She’d fake groan and then listen while I talked. Typically our conversations were for five minutes until the bell rang and her class started or she had a meeting to go to, and other days I hung out for close to an hour or more when I’d be stranded at school.

This had gone on for a while and my junior year things weren’t going very great. My life at home was a disaster and on top of that I was in the middle of a raging internal war between my religion and my sexuality. My ability to keep up an optimistic persona was slacking, and so were my grades. I had Mrs. McCann again that year for AP Modern Euro and my performance in the class was a disaster. I stayed after class one day, moving from my regular seat to the spinny chair and calling her name across the room even though I’d never left, and pulled up to her desk. I could hear the fake positivity in my voice, and she could too. She brought up the lack of assignments I’d done for the class, and I fumbled to try and come up with an excuse, but she didn’t take it and asked me what was actually going on.

 I hesitated for a moment, then I decided to talk, but I only told half of the story. I told the part that wouldn’t make things worse if they were out. I explained that I was in charge of my younger siblings until 8:30 every night and that I wasn’t getting along well with my parents. It was just a portion, but it was enough and she listened.

Going forward, she was more understanding in regards to my work in class, and would check in quickly whenever I stopped by or hung back after class. But that was it.

It was not that it was a life changing situation, or she solved all my issues at home, but she had asked me about what was going on. I had other teachers who had been worried about me, ones that I overheard talking about me, emailing each other about my behaviors, calling home to my mother, etc. But none of them had reached out personally to me, or asked me how I was doing. She gave me a chance to speak, and showed me that she cared, and that was what I had needed at the time. I had felt like my life was out of my control, and she gave me some control over talking about what was going on. Often times I would escape the chaos of my house and roller blade up and down my street. I did a lot of thinking at this time, and after that conversation, I often had further conversations with her in my head. In them I talked about my struggles with identity, I explained just how bad things had been at home, and I didn’t hold anything back. Eventually a few topics were talked about more deeply, and I came out to her during my senior year. But most of the time, she was just someone I knew I could go to if I needed to. The spinny chair was always an open seat, even if I was told no every time I took it.