Ideology Quiz

This is the third time I have taken the ideology quiz, and I have scored almost exactly the same each time I have taken it, tying for Positive and Critical. The past few times I have taken the quiz, whenever I have tied I was told to then choose the one I feel I align with most. I tended to then choose critical. I feel as though based on the work we have done in YDev over the years, my agreements tend to align most with a Critical Ideology. I have tended to agree passionately about interacting with youth in order to both share power with and empower youth and create change in their communities. However I feel as though the reason that I tend to tie with Positive is that Critical youth development in description comes off as always doing something to take action and make change. While I agree with this, I also feel as though sometimes youth spaces should just be places for youth to exist as themselves. I think that everyone needs a space where they can just do something for fun, regardless of age. With the Positive Ideology being more focused on fostering strengths and positive growth, there is more of an opportunity for spaces rooted in a Positive ideology to be more of an existing as oneself for oneself space than would typically come across in a Critical Space. So ultimately, I feel as though I have a stronger lean towards the critical Ideology, but I still feel aligned in ways to Positive as well. I am also curious how I would score if the distinction between a Civic and Social Justice youth development ideology was an aspect of this quiz as well, and which aspects of each I would closer align to.

An Injustice

At the end of my sophomore year at RIC Jess and I were looking to get an apartment. We both had to take summer classes that summer, and Jess lived too far away, and I had a toxic home environment that I wasn’t looking to or really able to go back to. In the process of looking for an apartment, we experienced injustice in a few ways. To start, we both had non-existent credit, as we were 18 turning 19 and as with most people from working class homes, had both grown up being told to avoid getting a credit card for as long as possible. As a result we each needed a co-signer in order to sign a lease. This in itself is an injustice against young people in our society, as you need to have credit in order to get anything, but also need credit to get credit.
But ultimately, this lead to the bigger issue in the situation, which was obtaining cosigners for our lease. Thankfully for me, my mother had just before this gotten her credit high enough to get a mortgage, and while her credit was still low, agreed to co-sign for me. Jess on the other hand had a harder time. Her parents’ credit was good, but they refused to co-sign a lease for us because they did not want to support us living together in a one bedroom apartment. We had been together for a year and half, which may have seemed too early to move in together, but the timing was not the issue, but rather that we are a queer couple. They told Jess that they would co-sign the lease if we got a two bedroom apartment instead of a one-bedroom, so that they wouldn’t have to think about what was going on behind closed doors. At the same time, they had just a couple of months prior allowed her brother and his girlfriend to live together in the same room in their own home. We financially couldn’t afford a two-bedroom apartment, and it also would not make sense for us to struggle financially for an extra room which would go unused. We asked my older sister and she was in the process of buying a house and couldn’t also cosign as her credit had been checked multiple times in the past few months, and she had a lot on her plate financially.
At this point we began to worry, we’d both already missed the deadline to live on campus the next year and had already registered for summer courses which we couldn’t take during the year. We also both had jobs lined up in Providence and Jess had turned away her previous summer job in her hometown. While neither of our parents would have turned us away had we needed to move in at home individually, our lives wouldn’t work that way. We were running out of time and options, our extended families were either also not comfortable with our relationship, or we were not close enough with them to ask them to cosign. We were terrified we weren’t going to have a place to go, and end up among the high rate of homeless LGBTQ people. Thankfully when we had no other option, my sister secretly cosigned for us and the realtor company agreed to use a previous credit report and not run her credit score again. While it ultimately worked out for us in the end, it was a very close call and could have easily gone very wrong. Also, it brought about new sides of family members and created quite a bit of stress and heavy emotions.
We’ve both prepared ourselves now and worked to create credit for ourselves so that the next time we go to sign a lease we will be able to do so on our own, and won’t have to bring the topic back up. But also it’s more of an issue with the lack of support for our relationship. At the time while we both knew our families had issues with us being gay, they had not said anything other than small comments to express that. So while we may not need our families to cosign a lease again soon, it is worrisome of where else we may not be supported by either side of our families in the future, whether it’s getting married, moving somewhere new, starting a family, etc. I would like to think I would be more emotionally ready for it if it were to happen again, as it would not be as surprising and would not cause as much emotional distress. But I’m not sure if that’s true. Jess and I’s relationship has only grown over time, and so as time goes on, the idea of the lack of acceptance from either of our families in many ways just gets harder.

The Spinny Chair revised

I first stole the spinny chair in the corner of Mrs. McCann’s history class about a week into my freshman year of high school. It drove her crazy, and I proceeded to take it every class after, and when the year was up, I took it every time I stopped by, which was often. I’d walk in run and slide across the room on the chair while borderline yelling “MRS. MCCANNNNNNNNN”. She’d fake groan and then listen while I talked. Typically our conversations were for five minutes until the bell rang and her class started or she had a meeting to go to, and other days I hung out for close to an hour or more when I’d be stranded at school.

This had gone on for a while and my junior year things weren’t going very great. My life at home was a disaster and on top of that I was in the middle of a raging internal war between my religion and my sexuality. My ability to keep up an optimistic persona was slacking, and so were my grades. I had Mrs. McCann again that year for AP Modern Euro and my performance in the class was a disaster. I stayed after class one day, moving from my regular seat to the spinny chair and calling her name across the room even though I’d never left, and pulled up to her desk. I could hear the fake positivity in my voice, and she could too. She brought up the lack of assignments I’d done for the class, and I fumbled to try and come up with an excuse, but she didn’t take it and asked me what was actually going on.

 I hesitated for a moment, then I decided to talk, but I only told half of the story. I told the part that wouldn’t make things worse if they were out. I explained that I was in charge of my younger siblings until 8:30 every night and that I wasn’t getting along well with my parents. It was just a portion, but it was enough and she listened.

Going forward, she was more understanding in regards to my work in class, and would check in quickly whenever I stopped by or hung back after class. But that was it.

It was not that it was a life changing situation, or she solved all my issues at home, but she had asked me about what was going on. I had other teachers who had been worried about me, ones that I overheard talking about me, emailing each other about my behaviors, calling home to my mother, etc. But none of them had reached out personally to me, or asked me how I was doing. She gave me a chance to speak, and showed me that she cared, and that was what I had needed at the time. I had felt like my life was out of my control, and she gave me some control over talking about what was going on. Often times I would escape the chaos of my house and roller blade up and down my street. I did a lot of thinking at this time, and after that conversation, I often had further conversations with her in my head. In them I talked about my struggles with identity, I explained just how bad things had been at home, and I didn’t hold anything back. Eventually a few topics were talked about more deeply, and I came out to her during my senior year. But most of the time, she was just someone I knew I could go to if I needed to. The spinny chair was always an open seat, even if I was told no every time I took it.

Blog Post Care

Throughout Reading this article,  while each teacher expresses care for their students in different ways, I feel as though they are all rooted in creating a safe space in their classroom. Looking at Lee, she does this by working on the room itself. She acknowledges that a outside of school many of her students are not living in community or home environments which are kept organized and clean. She therefore makes sure to keep her classroom as clean and organized as possible to create a space where her students can focus on their work. Not only is she making the space clean so that her students can focus, it also helps to make them feel valued and respected.

Sarah describes her hair as a
"bat signal for LGBT students" 

Looking at Sarah, she creates a caring and safe space through her representation of herself. She is out as a Queer person n her classroom, and reflects that with her clothing and hairstyle. Being out she hosts a support group and has students that stay after class to talk, and she also reflects lessons on gender and sexuality into her curriculum to provide representation and a space for conversation. She is modeling that being queer and being a successful adult is possible, which is something which is rarely represented. I know for myself, I did not personally know a single out queer adult, and especially not in my school. In addition, she is also building a sense of community in her classrooms.
Finally, looking at Michelle’s work, she expresses her care through the amount of outside time, energy, and money she puts into her classroom and work with her students. This is discussed primarily through her taking extra time in the mornings to buy breakfast or snacks for her students. She talks about how they at times will begin to fall asleep in class, and she knows this is that they have busy lives, and may have been working late into the night. Rather than place a judgement on her own teaching or allowing them to continue to sleep through class she offers them a snack to help wake them up and keep their focus on their school work.

Fidelia, one of the awesome staff

While I have only been at my internship for a few weeks, I have noticed care being expressed primarily through relationship building. The Olneyville Community Library is open to the public. The majority of patrons are locals from the Olneyville community. The Staff at the library consists of only three people, but they all work to make sure that they greet every person who comes in, and help them with whatever they are working on. Regardless of how many times people have come in, they

remember their names and whatever they were working on, researching, or just doing the last time. In addition, they work to make sure that the library is a safe space for everyone who will come in. One example of this, is of a young Trans person who comes in fairly regularly who has expressed that she feels safe and accepted at the Olneyville Library, and that she has gone to others in the area and not felt that way.